BUHAY TAMBAY!

Some words and languages may not be suitable for some readers. Parental guidance is advised! Haha!

Last night Auntie Linda said “oh Dane, sabi ng Uncle Olet mo… mag breakfast daw tayo bukas! He’ll be here early! Ready na ikaw bukas ah…”

Morning’s here… the morning’s here! Bright and early I woke up alive and ready to face the day! (haha!)

Yun, around 7 eh I was ready… Auntie Linda didn’t cook breakfast kasi nga kakain kami. So we had toast and milk/ OJ/ water! Hehe! Aba… Dumating sila dito ng 10… umalis kami ng 11! So our breakfast turned to lunch! Gutom but still ok! J

Kain kami sa Chinese restaurant… Biglang nag datingan yung mga (as in MGA) waitress… “Dimsum Sir…?”, “Pork spare ribs Ma’am…?”, “Chinese broccoli Sir…?”, “Roasted duck Ma’am…?”. As in sabay sabay sila! May dalang cart with the pika-pika! Even dessert cart eh nandun! Taranta and all eh Uncle Olet said yes to all that was offered to him. Nung linapag na yung pagkain eh puno na agad yung table! And appetizers pa lang yun! We ordered our main dish. Parang lahat ata kami eh um-order ng sarili naming pagkain. When the waiter served our food eh the dish was I think good for 2-3 persons! So we have this food good for 10-15 people and a whole mess of appetizers and 5 lang kaming kakain! If only you could see our table! Haha!

On to my post! Eto yung mga payo sa akin ng mga Tita at Tito ko:

Payo number 1. (while eating)

Auntie Linda: HOY DANIEL! KUMAIN KA NG GULAY! PUNYEMAS TO! HINDI KA TATABA DYAN! DIET DIET PA! HAHAHAHA! HUY! KAIN! (habang dinuduro duro ako ng chop sticks!)

Payo number 2. (while eating pa din)

Auntie Sonya: (inabot yung gulay) Oh… eto yung gulay oh… kain ka… wag mo galitin ang Auntie Linda mo! ngahahahaha! (panginsultong tawa!)

Tapos na kumain. Alis na kami… Hinatid na namin ang Auntie Linda sa bahay (‘cuz Kuya Junjun is not feeling well) and ang Auntie Sonya naman eh hinatid na din namin ‘cuz she has to go to work. Then Uncle Poldo, Uncle Olet and I went to Uncle Ben and Auntie Mary’s house.

Payo number 3. (while discussing my SSN issue)

Uncle Ben: Talaga namang tarantadong punyemas na mga taga SSN nayan eh! Di ka binigyan!?! Eh ito eh biruin mo eh sabi nila patay na daw ako! Pinakita pa yung computer eh patay na daw ako!?! That happened to me twice! That’s bullshit! I said ‘I’m old but I’m not dead! Touch me! Touch me!’.  Kalokohan yan! Dane, aba, kumuha ka ulit ng SSN at pag di ka binigyan eh jump over the counter and hit them in the head one by one! Hanggang bigyan ka nila!

Payo number 4. (while Uncle Ben is lecturing me about SSN)

Uncle Poldo: Wag kang makikinig dyan sa Uncle Ben mo na yan… matanda na yan!

Payo number 5. (enter Auntie Mary)

Auntie Mary: Hoy! Hoy! Hoy! Eh kayo mag kape na muna kayo dyan! Aba, si Dane pala iyon! Hijo, mag ahit ka nga palagi at mukha kang bata!

Payo number 6. (while driving home)

Nobody was cracking jokes, everybody was quiet! His payo was seriously delivered…

Uncle Olet: Dane, alam mo basta mabuti ka lang dito sa America eh magiging ayos ka! Alam mo naman tayo eh pumapatay! Alam mo eh pumapatay tayo kapag inaapi tayo. Pero dito eh wag ka pumatay! Pag may nang aapi sayo eh tumawag ka ng pulis! Don’t harm anybody!

Sila ang aking mga advisers! Now you know bakit ako ganito! Hahaha! Ang sweet nila noh!?! J